Loneliness in the Homeschool

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="54869683.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" Crooked Pines Ministries"><U><IMG SRC="040bf930.gif" border=0 width="191" height="147" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Glance at Reading Readiness"><U>A Glance at Reading Readiness</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id65.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Look at Peppermint and Slippery Elm Ba"><U>A Look at Peppermint and Slippery Elm Bark</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id105.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Pleasing Palette"><U>A Pleasing Palette</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Treasure So Fine!"><U>A Treasure So Fine!</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Amazing Grace or Flaming Rebellion"><U>Amazing Grace or Flaming Rebellion</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Aunt Bettys BBQ Sauce"><U>Aunt Betty's BBQ Sauce</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id146.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Back to School"><U>Back to School</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Beginnings of Habit"><U>The Beginnings of Habit</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id68.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Being Poured Out"><U>Being Poured Out</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Broccoli Chicken Casserole"><U>Broccoli - Chicken Casserole</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Building Habits on the Dry Bones of Educ"><U>Building Habits on the Dry Bones of Education</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id144.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Choosing Curriculum for the new year"><U>Choosing Curriculum for the new year</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id69.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Comforter: the Fabric of Our Lives"><U>The Comforter: the Fabric of Our Lives</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id71.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dwelling in Safety"><U>Dwelling in Safety</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id127.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fall: The Season of Change"><U>Fall: The Season of Change</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id77.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fighting Burnout with Scriptural Promise"><U>Fighting Burnout with Scriptural Promises</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="For the Love of Ginger"><U>For the Love of Ginger</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL "><U>From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL - A Covenant Journey Part 1</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL "><U>From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL - A Pure Vessel Part 2</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id75.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Get Ye unto Your Tents... and REST!"><U>Get Ye unto Your Tents... and REST!</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure"><U>The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id78.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy is the Mom Who Puts Her Trust in t"><U>Happy is the Mom Who Puts Her Trust in the Lord</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id72.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have You Been Working Out?"><U>Have You Been Working Out?</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id79.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="His Love"><U>His Love</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id118.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Home Educators and their Books"><U>Home Educators and their Books</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id83.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Homeschooling... 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Woodis</B></U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Loneliness in the Homeschool</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="547d4a20.jpg" border=0 width="212" height="162" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.hisimage.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.hisimage.org"><U><IMG SRC="05193950.jpg" border=0 width="147" height="149" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="5459dc40.jpg" border=0 width="157" height="196" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Loneliness in the Homeschool</B></div> <div> By: Mary E. Woodis</div> <div> Background Text: John 16:32</div> <bR> <bR> <div> John 16:32, “Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave Me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.”</div> <bR> <div> Alone - monos - sole, single, mere, alone, only, by themselves</div> <bR> <div>      Never in my life have I felt so very alone as I did on Monday, January 19, 2004, when my Buffy Dog died. It wasn't right away that the loneliness hit me; it was when I sat down at my computer to work. She always lay down at my feet and that day she wasn't there. It hit me just then that she never would be, that was when I truly felt lonely. Did I cry? You bet! I cried great big crocodile tears and I am now, but I don't feel as lonely. Would you like to know why? It is all because of our background text, John 16:32. When I read this passage I was comforted, if Jesus didn't feel lonely when all of His friends forsook Him, I know that I am not really alone either. </div> <bR> <div>      God has continually reminded us throughout His Scripture that we are never alone. He will never leave us and never forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)</div> <bR> <div>      So how do we get alone? We walk away from Him. Had I left God in my grief? No, not really. I just took my eyes off of Him and dwelt on the pain in my heart. Grief is very natural and very normal. Buffy was part of our family for 15 years. She has been part of my life longer than Emily or Parker-Daniil. Jessica has grown up with her. During the last couple of years as she has aged, she has become our inside dog. This has integrated her more completely into our daily life. Now that place is empty.</div> <bR> <div>      In my loneliness and grief God called me to His word. In Lamentations chapter 3 I found comfort. While I was reading this text it occurred to me that homeschool moms have a real struggle with loneliness, especially during the winter months. Sickness, cold weather and a variety of circumstances force us to stay at home more during this season than any other. So many activities are cancelled or postponed that we find ourselves without adult contact more and more. Sometimes the need to connect can be unbearable. </div> <bR> <div>      Oh Dear Friends, I know this loneliness. I have been educating our children at home since 1997 and there have been many times that I have felt more like an island than part of a continent.</div> <bR> <div>      Often times it was during one of these lonely times that I felt the Father's presence the most. During these times I have read about Moses when he ran away to the desert after killing a man in Egypt. I have read about John the Baptist spending all those years in the desert so he could prepare the way for our Savior. I read about the Israelites being led through the desert for 30 years so they could learn to rely upon God. Lastly, I have read about Elijah. He ran away into the wilderness because he was all alone and feared for his life. </div> <bR> <div>      In each one of these Scriptural passages, God's man was drawn way, alone. Each one had an appointment with God after his wilderness, desert time. Each one felt the weight of his loneliness and cried out to God. That is what these lonely, desert times are for! We should use them to seek God's face and partake of the daily manna that He is offering.  </div> <bR> <div>      How many moms haven't sat day after day and night after sleepless night with sick little ones? You can't spend time on the phone with a friend, because your little one needs all of your attention. Your husband tries to fill this need and it helps tremendously. But there is still a lonely, hungry place deep within you that needs a special touch. This is your God space! Only He can give you what you need. I know that it is exceedingly difficult to find time to read your Bible when the stress is on. Pray through this time and when it is appropriate He will give you the time and just the right person who has (or is) experiencing exactly what you are. God is so good! I have even been known to put my Bible in the bathroom so I could at least grab a few moments of nourishment while I was detained. </div> <bR> <div>      The day that our Buffy Dog died was a day such as this. My heart needed something that my husband and my dear friend couldn't provide. Only God had what I needed and that is when He called me to His word. God provided me with the perfect Scripture and He sent me an angel in the form of a precious friend to minister to our family's needs. I really must share the Scripture with you for it may be just what you need right now also.</div> <bR> <div>      The passage is Lamentations 3:19-33. On that particular day verses 31-33 spoke to my heart most eloquently, but I encourage you to read the entire passage. </div> <bR> <div> Lamentations 3:31-33, “For the Lord will not cast off forever. Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. For He does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.”</div> <bR> <div>      Don't you love the way God's word has an answer for our every need? In Lamentations 3:19-33, so much of God's character is shown. Just in verses 22-24 we see that God is: Love, compassionate, merciful and good. Is this what you need right now? Do you need someone to love you unconditionally, listen to you compassionately, and be merciful to you when you lose it and good to you when you are at your wits end? That need can only be filled by God, only He will never disappoint you and never let you down. Friends are good and husbands are even better, but only God is perfect every time.</div> <bR> <div>      Yes, Dear Friends, loneliness is a common ailment in the life of a home educating mother during this season. I would like to encourage you to attend Mom's Night Out! This group of like-minded home educating mothers can offer you the visitation and support you need. If this is out of the question, please find at least one day during the month that you can get away with a friend or your husband for a few hours. It is vitally important for your mental health that you have some time to be you and not always mom. </div> <bR> <div>      Friendship and companionship are very real and important needs in our lives. These needs are sometimes impossible to fill during the winter months. Don't feel bad that you are lonely! Even Adam got lonely and he had the ultimate fellowship with God. Do you remember in Genesis when God recognized this need in Adam? That was when He created Eve. </div> <bR> <div>      The word “friend” is used 49 times in the KJV of the Bible. One of my favorite references is Exodus 33:11 were Moses speaks to God “as a man speaketh unto his friend.” This word in the Hebrew is </div> <bR> <div> Rêya - an associate, brother, companion, friend, husband, lover, neighbor</div> <bR> <div> Our friend Abraham is referred to in Scripture as “the friend of God” in 2 Chronicles 20:7. This word is different.</div> <bR> <div> `âhab - to have affection for, love, like, friend</div> <bR> <div>      Everyone needs a friend, a true friend that can be confided in, trusted and called upon when needed. Next to God, our truest friend should be our spouse. Any friendship that causes us to betray or resent our spouse is unhealthy. But women do need other women. Next to God, no one else can understand the heart of a woman like another woman. True friendships are hard to find and must be maintained. </div> <bR> <div> Proverbs 18:24 tells us: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”</div> <bR> <div>      We all need that friend that we can be silly with and “let our hair down.” Do you have such a friend? If not, pray for one. God truly said, “…It is not good that man should be alone…” Genesis 2:18. This also applies to women. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:8, “…For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” So, “ask, and it will be given to you…” Matthew 7:7</div> <bR> <div>      One thing that all new home educating parents will hear at least once in the first six months is, "I miss my friends! I never have anyone to play with." Please don't let Satan use this to pile on the guilt and make you question your decision to educate your child at home. This is a normal part of the leaving and cleaving process. I'm sure your child is lonely. He is used to being surrounded by children his age for eight hours a day. He is going through withdrawals and all withdrawals are painful.</div> <bR> <div>      The best way to cure this withdrawal is to become involved in field trips, park day, etc. Extra-curricular activities and trips to the library. You can always find other homeschoolers at the libraries, especially Muscle Shoals and Sheffield. This would also be a good time to do a unit study on something your child has always held an interest in, but never had time to really research. You can also create your own field trips. Be creative and don't feel like you have to surround your child with other children. This is your time to really get to know the heart of this child. Take advantage of this time!</div> <div>  </div> <div>      In conclusion, I would like to encourage you that loneliness, especially in winter is a real problem. This isn't something that only you experience or your mind created. But, this problem is not without a cure. Your need for adult companionship is normal and even Godly. God recognized your need and He has provided for your need before you even ask Him. So, ask for a friend and God will provide. Honor your God and your husband, and remember it is not wrong to need your friend. Spring will come, Dear Friends, and we will all be together once again. </div> <bR> <div> Until then,</div> <bR> <div> Mary E. Woodis</div> <div> Crooked Pines Publishing</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net"><U><U>jessiew@hiwaay.net</U></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.crookedpinespublishing.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.crookedpinespublishing.com"><U><U>www.crookedpinespublishing.com</U></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.countryclipart.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.countryclipart.com"><U><IMG SRC="51796640.gif" border=0 width="150" height="100" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="#_crooked_pines_publishing___________home" TITLE="Loneliness in the Homeschool"><U>Back to the top</U></A></div> <div> This page last updated February 2004</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>