The Beginnings of Habit

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="1602a253.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" Crooked Pines Ministries"><U><IMG SRC="040bf930.gif" border=0 width="191" height="147" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Glance at Reading Readiness"><U>A Glance at Reading Readiness</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id65.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Look at Peppermint and Slippery Elm Ba"><U>A Look at Peppermint and Slippery Elm Bark</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id105.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Pleasing Palette"><U>A Pleasing Palette</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Treasure So Fine!"><U>A Treasure So Fine!</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Amazing Grace or Flaming Rebellion"><U>Amazing Grace or Flaming Rebellion</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Aunt Bettys BBQ Sauce"><U>Aunt Betty's BBQ Sauce</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id146.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Back to School"><U>Back to School</U></A></div> <div> <B>The Beginnings of Habit</B></div> <div> <A HREF="id68.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Being Poured Out"><U>Being Poured Out</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Broccoli Chicken Casserole"><U>Broccoli - Chicken Casserole</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Building Habits on the Dry Bones of Educ"><U>Building Habits on the Dry Bones of Education</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id144.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Choosing Curriculum for the new year"><U>Choosing Curriculum for the new year</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id69.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Comforter: the Fabric of Our Lives"><U>The Comforter: the Fabric of Our Lives</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id71.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dwelling in Safety"><U>Dwelling in Safety</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id127.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fall: The Season of Change"><U>Fall: The Season of Change</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id77.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fighting Burnout with Scriptural Promise"><U>Fighting Burnout with Scriptural Promises</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="For the Love of Ginger"><U>For the Love of Ginger</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL "><U>From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL - A Covenant Journey Part 1</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL "><U>From Claddagh, Ireland to Florence, AL - A Pure Vessel Part 2</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id75.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Get Ye unto Your Tents... and REST!"><U>Get Ye unto Your Tents... and REST!</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id58.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure"><U>The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id78.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy is the Mom Who Puts Her Trust in t"><U>Happy is the Mom Who Puts Her Trust in the Lord</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id72.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Have You Been Working Out?"><U>Have You Been Working Out?</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id79.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="His Love"><U>His Love</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id118.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Home Educators and their Books"><U>Home Educators and their Books</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id83.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Homeschooling... A New Adventure"><U>Homeschooling... A New Adventure</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id81.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Homeschooling in the Shoals"><U>Homeschooling in the Shoals</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id80.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Homeschooling in the Springtime"><U>Homeschooling in the Springtime</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id82.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Homeschooling in the Swamp"><U>Homeschooling in the Swamp</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id133.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How the Created Thing "><U>How the Created Thing </U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id64.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How to Prepare a Tincture"><U>How to Prepare a Tincture</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id59.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="In the Final Analysis"><U>In the Final Analysis</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id73.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Joy of the Lord and His Plan"><U>The Joy of the Lord and His Plan</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id97.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Just Enough Stress"><U>Just Enough Stress</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id110.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Loneliness in the Homeschool"><U>Loneliness in the Homeschool</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id131.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Message"><U>The Message</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nature Studies Indoors"><U>Nature Studies Indoors</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id76.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nursing ParkerDaniil"><U>Nursing Parker-Daniil</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id126.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Teacher"><U>Our Teacher</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id114.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Relationships in the Homeschool"><U>Relationships in the Homeschool</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id66.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="S is for Skullcap and Sleep"><U>"S" is for Skullcap and Sleep</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Satans Great Deception"><U>Satan's Great Deception</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Science through a Nature Club"><U>Science through a Nature Club</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id132.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sharing from My Excess"><U>Sharing from My Excess</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id74.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sir, We desire to see Jesus!"><U>"Sir, We desire to see Jesus!"</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Storms of Change"><U>The Storms of Change</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id70.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Strength to Face the Day"><U>Strength to Face the Day</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Two Moms, One Jesus"><U>Two Moms, One Jesus</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Waiting excerpted from Parables from Nat"><U>"Waiting" excerpted from "Parables from Nature by Mrs. Gatty</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id61.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Water and the Blood"><U>The Water and the Blood</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id106.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Why Are You Homeschooling"><U>Why Are You Homeschooling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id84.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Winter... Dormant? Not Hardly!"><U>Winter... Dormant? Not Hardly!</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Your Liver loves Burdock!"><U>Your Liver loves Burdock!</U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="15d5f783.gif"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B> <A NAME="top"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B> </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Crooked Pines Ministries</B>  </FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" Crooked Pines Ministries"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> back to  <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Articles by Mary E. Woodis"><U><B>Articles by Mary E. Woodis</B></U></A></div> <div> The Beginnings of Habit</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="http://www.hisimage.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.hisimage.org"><U><IMG SRC="05193950.jpg" border=0 width="147" height="149" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> <div> The Beginnings of Habit<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Excerpted from: “Habit Revisited”<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> By: Mary E. Woodis</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="163252e0.gif" border=0 width="549" height="46" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>      Habit begins in a human being at the moment of conception in the most natural way. From the moment the egg is fertilized, the cells begin to divide and redivide as they are in the habit of doing. In this way, from the very beginning of life, we are being formed according to God's divine will.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Good or Bad?</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="16542710.gif" border=0 width="66" height="113" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>      When human cells do not follow their natural and habitual way of doing things, they become destructive. This type of cellular destruction or abnormal growth is called cancer. When a single, good habit is broken or deviated from, it becomes a destructive bad habit in our lives. The only way to correct this destructive bad habit is to begin the training process all over again. Initiate the good habit and repeat it over and over again, until it is established. This sort of destructive, abnormal pattern, that is cancer at the cellular level, and rebellion in the behavioral level, is satanic and straight from the pits of hell. But God, in His infinite mercy, allows things such as these to develop, only because He can use these things to further His own glory, to cause us to turn to Him, or as a wake-up call to the victim or their families.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Where does it all start?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="16820190.gif" border=0 width="288" height="25" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div>      Habit originates in our minds. As we create a new habit, a groove or path is worn in our mind. It naturally becomes easier to do that thing that travels in this path or groove, than to create a new one. This simple truth has been profound for me. When you think on this, you begin to imagine that your mind is like the freeways and interchanges of the Los Angeles area. </div> <bR> <div>      Everything you do, walking, breathing, eating, or brushing your teeth are all habits that have been formed. You did not know how to do any of these things when you were born. Some of these habits you were predisposed to learn by natural impulse, others are learned habits. As such, any new habit that must be learned, the habits of attention, neatness, obedience, respect, honor, cheerfulness, joy, all of these must be learned by repeating this new action time and time again.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Equipping Your Student</B></div> <bR> <div>      Education is fully one-third habit; no successful education can be achieved without the formation of good, useful habits. In order to teach your children you must train them in certain habits. Once good habits are in place, you have given them the tools to learn and their education, while not completed, is ensured.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>The Enemy of Habit</B></div> <bR> <div>      There is a natural enemy to this creation of habit. Satan. He would like nothing better than to trip you up and destroy this carefully laid path that has been created in the mind of your child. To do so, he will bring all kinds of enticing options into the thought process or view of your child. He will use self, putting the big “I” on the throne; as in “I deserve better than that” or “they just don't understand me”, “why is everyone picking on me” or “I don't want to and they can't make me”. Sometimes it comes as a simple distraction as they are in the process of obeying you, an interesting bug, a pretty flower, an enticing commercial on the TV, or maybe the telephone ringing. All of these things, while not particularly bad in and of themselves, can be just the thing that Satan can and will use to distract your child from the new habit you have formed. Now you have a “rabbit trail”, if you will, created in their minds to challenge any thought or action that was trying to follow the previously laid path.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>A Difficult Job, A Powerful Ally</B></div> <bR> <div>      Habit is easy to speak of, yet very hard to teach and even more so to enforce. Michael Pearl says in his book “To Train Up A Child”, </div> <bR> <div> “<I>All children are trained, some carelessly or negligently, and some, with varied degrees of forethought. All parental responses are conditioning the child's behaviour, and are therefore training.”</I> </div> <bR> <div>      What an awesome and daunting thought that each and every action that we allow or disallow is the development of a habit, good or bad. But the realization of this empowers us with the power of the Holy Spirit to take possession of every action and thought and train it to our purpose.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Biblical Wisdom</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="169714a0.gif" border=0 width="113" height="74" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>      As I was researching this subject, I found myself repeatedly checking my various resources for wisdom. The Bible teaches:</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b7011800000000.png" HEIGHT="19" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Proverbs 15:22</B>, <I>“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellers they are established.”</I></div> <bR> <div> Charlotte Mason was one of my counselors. She said, </div> <div> <I>“The child is born, doubtless, with the tendencies which should shape his future; </I>(back to that cellular level!) <I>but every tendency has its branch roads, </I>(those rabbit trails) <I>its good or evil outcome; and to put the child on the right track for the fulfillment of the possibilities inherent in him is the vocation of the parent. Each step, each thought, each action must be taken captive, not to the will of the child, but to the overworking power of the Holy Spirit in his life.”</I></div> <bR> <div> For as the Bible says:</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b7011800000000.png" HEIGHT="19" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">2 Corinthians 10:3-7, </B><I>“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? If any man trust to himself that he is Christ's, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ's, even so are we Christ's.”</I></div> <bR> <div>      Therefore, we should look to the overworking power of the Holy Spirit for the strength to join with Him in the daily, moment by moment work of instilling good habits in our children. These are the habits that will make all the difference in our home schools and our lives. For the Bible assures us: </div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b7011800000000.png" HEIGHT="19" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">1 Corinthians 2:16</B>, <I>“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.” </I></div> <bR> <div>      How can we doubt our ability to complete the task that God our Father has given us, when we have the very mind of Christ with which to complete it? Sure it seems nigh unto impossible some days, but that is just doubt and discouragement that Satan is throwing our way! Do you remember where this blessed assurance comes from? </div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b7011800000000.png" HEIGHT="19" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Acts 2:21</B>,<I> “And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”</I> </div> <bR> <div>      We have no reason to be discouraged or fear! God Himself will help us with the training of our children, the education of our children, and the building of habits in our own lives and the lives of our children; habits that will last a lifetime! </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>A Step by Step Process</B></div> <bR> <div>      The task of instilling good, useful habits in our children may seem daunting at best, but it is merely a process of taking one step at a time. The first and second habits that need to be established are so intertwined that you cannot separate them. One depends on the other. They are the habits of obedience and attention. You cannot secure their attention until you have their obedience and you cannot secure their obedience until you have their attention. </div> <bR> <div>      Start with very small activities depending on their age and level of ability. Choose activities that will be easy for them to accomplish. In this way, you can begin to develop a habit of success, along with obedience and attention. Each time they complete the required task, they have paid attention to your instructions, and obeyed you. You have now started a good habit. </div> <bR> <div>      There are a hundred and one opportunities in your day to practice this new habit. Don't get in a hurry, and don't let Satan discourage you. It will take approximately six weeks to establish this habit firmly. After you have established these habits, every other habit will naturally be built on this foundation. You now have the tools to work with. </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Parents Need Habits, too!</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="16a604f0.jpg" border=0 width="96" height="79" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>      Don't forget that you are establishing habits in your own life as you train your children in these new habits. These habits are: the habit of acknowledging success in your child's life, the habit of appreciating a task completed, the habit of not fussing and nagging to get a task accomplished. You shouldn't have to ask your child three times to do the same thing, each time with a gradually raised voice. You shouldn't have to continually repeat your instructions in order for them to complete their task. </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Age Related Instructions</B></div> <bR> <div>      In order to build these habits, we have established a rule in our home. A child is never given more instructions at one time than corresponds with their age. For instance, Parker Daniil is three years old, so I would only give him three instructions at one time. Parker Daniil get up off the floor, pick up the trash and take it to the trash can. Do you see the three commands? </div> <bR> <div>      Now with an older child some of these commands are understood and so they are not necessary. Jessica is eleven years old so I should be able to summarize my request to her and expect a job well done. Jessica, please pick up all the dirty clothes from your room, take them to the bathroom and separate the laundry. There are a lot of assumed commands in that request, but they are understood. Do you see the process here?</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Delayed Obedience is Disobedience</B></div> <bR> <div>      If you give your child a command, you should expect instant obedience. Anything else should be punished. For a child to delay their obedience is disobedience and disrespect for your authority. Never tolerate disobedience and disrespect. If you have to excuse your child's behavior, a bad habit is being built.</div> <bR> <div>      One of the worst bad habits that I know of is a child arguing with an adult or parent, especially in a public situation. This is the epitome of disrespect. In this situation you should immediately excuse yourself and discipline this child. Ignoring the bad behaviour or tolerating it will only allow it to get worse. Eventually the child will be controlling the adult and both will be utterly miserable.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>In Conclusion</B></div> <bR> <div>      Before you start out on the journey of building good habits, be sure you have spent much time in prayer. God will need to do a work in your life before He can begin to use you in your child's life. The process will not be easy and Satan will thwart you at every turn. Only with the Lord's help will you be able to complete this process successfully. You will need complete provision from God. All you have to do is ask and follow His will. Remember, with God ALL things are possible according to His will. Are you ready to start out on this journey? The way may seem hard and all uphill, but YOU CAN DO IT!!</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="16dc0170.gif" border=0 width="448" height="23" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="#top" TITLE="The Beginnings of Habit"><U>Back to top</U></A></div> <bR> <div>      This article is a chapter and summarization from Mary's book “Habit Revisited”. Mary is the wife of Jessie and mommy to three children. They are Jessica - 15yo, Emily - 12 yo, and Parker-Daniil - 5yo. They have been home schooling their children since May of 1997. Jessie and Mary are the sole owners of their cottage industry Crooked Pines Publishing. If you like more information about purchasing “Habit Revisited” please contact them via e-mail at <A HREF="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net"><U>jessiew@hiwaay.net</U></A></div> <bR> <div> This article is copyrighted by Mary E. Woodis. If you would like to print this article in whole or part in your publication please contact us at<A HREF="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:jessiew@hiwaay.net"><U> jessiew@hiwaay.net </U></A> for permission and more details.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> This page updated October 2002</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>