The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure

Crooked Pines Ministries | home

back to Articles by Mary E. Woodis

The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure

By: Mary E. Woodis

The habit of dawdling is perhaps the bane of the home educating mother. Over and over again I hear the same refrain from the mothers of dawdling children. I have often joined this refrain as my children travel through different seasons of their lives. GOD allows this behaviour in order to give us a circumstance to teach the habits necessary to their growth. So how do I make them stop dawdling and do the thing set before them? I have learned that often dawdling is born of indecision. The child is incapable of making the decision of where to start or what to do next. Instead of seeking the help they need, they just dawdle away their time.

The Habit of Completion

One great remedy to this problem is laying out their who assignment before them in detail. Or, if the dawdling has become very bad, assign them one task at a time such as: put your name and date at the top of the paper, add the numbers in the left column first , or some other begininng task. In this way, you avoid the issue of their lack of decision making skills, and begin the habit of completion anew. Only by subsituting a new habit, one of successful completion, for the bad habit of dawdling can you overcome this obstacle. They will not outgrow this habit, dawdlers only grow worse over time. They have decided in their own minds that they cannot complete a task and so no amount of rewards can induce them to try.

The Habits of Diligence and Watchfulness

In the process of replacing the habit of dawdling, you are going to have to train yourself in the habits of diligence and watchfulness.

Charlotte Mason says, “After that first talk, the mother would do well to refrain from one more word on the subject; the eye (expectant, not reproachful), and, where the child is far gone in a dream, the lightest possible touch, are the only effectual instruments.”

She goes on to tell us that after a time of training in this habit we can begin to challenge them to complete the given task without us.

It Simply Takes Time

It will take weeks of diligence and watchfulness on our part to guard against the return of the habit of dawdling. The dawdling habit has worn a track in the brain of our children and it will not be easy to erase. To give them one minute of rest as a “reward” is to allow the old habit to regain control. That is so discouraging for your child, don’t let this happen! It is not hard for them to continue a new habit once it is begun, but it is hard for them to have to go back and start over. Everytime your child completes their task successfully, it gets easier to do the next time. So don’t be deceived that they are continually labouring as hard as they did at the onset, they aren’t. Their own human nature finds it pleasurable to form a habit because of the ease that it is to repeat the task without the effort of decision. Once the habit is formed it becomes natural for them to do a thing.

Preventing the Habit of Dawdling

One way to prevent this habit of dawdling is to never let it form. If you see your child sitting and day-dreaming over their copywork or math, have them put it away and run outside for a short time. This will stimulate the flow of oxygenated blood to their brain and you can set them down to it again with a newness and freshness that had previously dwindled away. When they come back to finish their work, for they must finish it, make it more pleasant for them. Put on a fresh face and perhaps reintroduce the lesson in a new way.

Understanding Expectations

Another way to prevent this habit of dawdling is to set before your child a definite time-table. Write this out with your child so that he will know exactly what is to be done when. In this manner, you child will not fear an interminable time for math or copywork. They know when it will start and when they should have it finished. Be certain that reasonable time periods are established and stick to them. Never allow a lesson to run on any longer than twenty minutes for a child under the age of eight. Longer times can be established for older children. You know how long your children are able to apply their whole attention to task before weariness takes over. Use your discretion to achieve the optimum for your own children.

Self-Achieved Rewards

Once you have developed this time-table you can begin to build self-achieved rewards into your child’s day. Such as: if a child is given twenty minutes to complete a task and he finishes in say ten minutes, he can do as he pleases for the remaining ten minutes as long as it does not disturb the other children. The amount of free-time a child has will be in direct proportion to the amount of time it takes them to complete their assigned task.

For More Information

If you are interested in learning more about habit training and your children, click here to check out one of our most popular titles: "Habit Revisited" by Mary E. Woodis. God has used this book to help hundreds of families and yours could be next. Won't you pray about adding this book to your home library today?

This article is copyrighted by Mary E. Woodis. If you would like to print this article in whole or part in your publication you please contact Jessie and Mary Woodis at jessiew@hiwaay.net for permission and more details.

Back to the top

Welcome friends sign by

Page last updated February 2003


	Crooked Pines Ministries \| home back to Articles by Mary E. Woodis The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure The Habit of Dawdling, The Cure By: Mary E. Woodis The habit of dawdling is perhaps the bane of the home educating mother. Over and over again I hear the same refrain from the mothers of dawdling children. I have often joined this refrain as my children travel through different seasons of their lives. GOD allows this behaviour in order to give us a circumstance to teach the habits necessary to their growth. So how do I make them stop dawdling and do the thing set before them? I have learned that often dawdling is born of indecision. The child is incapable of making the decision of where to start or what to do next. Instead of seeking the help they need, they just dawdle away their time. The Habit of Completion One great remedy to this problem is laying out their who assignment before them in detail. Or, if the dawdling has become very bad, assign them one task at a time such as: put your name and date at the top of the paper, add the numbers in the left column first , or some other begininng task. In this way, you avoid the issue of their lack of decision making skills, and begin the habit of completion anew. Only by subsituting a new habit, one of successful completion, for the bad habit of dawdling can you overcome this obstacle. They will not outgrow this habit, dawdlers only grow worse over time. They have decided in their own minds that they cannot complete a task and so no amount of rewards can induce them to try. The Habits of Diligence and Watchfulness In the process of replacing the habit of dawdling, you are going to have to train yourself in the habits of diligence and watchfulness. Charlotte Mason says, “After that first talk, the mother would do well to refrain from one more word on the subject; the eye (expectant, not reproachful), and, where the child is far gone in a dream, the lightest possible touch, are the only effectual instruments.” She goes on to tell us that after a time of training in this habit we can begin to challenge them to complete the given task without us. It Simply Takes Time It will take weeks of diligence and watchfulness on our part to guard against the return of the habit of dawdling. The dawdling habit has worn a track in the brain of our children and it will not be easy to erase. To give them one minute of rest as a “reward” is to allow the old habit to regain control. That is so discouraging for your child, don’t let this happen! It is not hard for them to continue a new habit once it is begun, but it is hard for them to have to go back and start over. Everytime your child completes their task successfully, it gets easier to do the next time. So don’t be deceived that they are continually labouring as hard as they did at the onset, they aren’t. Their own human nature finds it pleasurable to form a habit because of the ease that it is to repeat the task without the effort of decision. Once the habit is formed it becomes natural for them to do a thing. Preventing the Habit of Dawdling One way to prevent this habit of dawdling is to never let it form. If you see your child sitting and day-dreaming over their copywork or math, have them put it away and run outside for a short time. This will stimulate the flow of oxygenated blood to their brain and you can set them down to it again with a newness and freshness that had previously dwindled away. When they come back to finish their work, for they must finish it, make it more pleasant for them. Put on a fresh face and perhaps reintroduce the lesson in a new way. Understanding Expectations Another way to prevent this habit of dawdling is to set before your child a definite time-table. Write this out with your child so that he will know exactly what is to be done when. In this manner, you child will not fear an interminable time for math or copywork. They know when it will start and when they should have it finished. Be certain that reasonable time periods are established and stick to them. Never allow a lesson to run on any longer than twenty minutes for a child under the age of eight. Longer times can be established for older children. You know how long your children are able to apply their whole attention to task before weariness takes over. Use your discretion to achieve the optimum for your own children. Self-Achieved Rewards Once you have developed this time-table you can begin to build self-achieved rewards into your child’s day. Such as: if a child is given twenty minutes to complete a task and he finishes in say ten minutes, he can do as he pleases for the remaining ten minutes as long as it does not disturb the other children. The amount of free-time a child has will be in direct proportion to the amount of time it takes them to complete their assigned task. For More Information If you are interested in learning more about habit training and your children, click here to check out one of our most popular titles: "Habit Revisited" by Mary E. Woodis. God has used this book to help hundreds of families and yours could be next. Won't you pray about adding this book to your home library today? This article is copyrighted by Mary E. Woodis. If you would like to print this article in whole or part in your publication you please contact Jessie and Mary Woodis at jessiew@hiwaay.net for permission and more details. Back to the top Welcome friends sign by Page last updated February 2003